My struggle is not dissimilar to everyone who is commenting. My 21 year old daughter recently moved back in to our home at my request. I was trying to save her from living in the streets with her abusive partner. My husband & I made our expectations clear with the advice from this site to draw up a living agreement. Admittedly, I have been drawn into many guilt trips, tantrums & resistive behaviors from our de, guilt, anger, resentment, disappointment & a host of other emotions because of her not following our rules. It’s been a strain on not only my husband & my marriage, but for our 18 year old son. He’s a senior in Highschool & is also fed up with her laziness & disrespectful attitude. I couldn’t live with that guilt or stress. Please help.
I have 6 kids. I can say this and feel it, “I regret having kids.” I was dumb. Irresponsible, and not mature.
I’m a single parent. I managed to get my BSBM and my Cosmetology license. I have work so many jobs to the point I felt like I was zombie.
My 5 children over 18 are all losers because I raised losers. I thought them seeing me walk to work, or catch the bus to school, or work until I was dead tired, then go home and study would encourage them. I failed.
Most recently they took the opportunity to tell me “You’re to old to be so dumb. We can’t help you pay any bills because we’re dealing with stuff too.”
I made the decision to leave with my youngest soon. I’ve been preparing for awhile now. I feel good about leaving because they never thought I did enough anyway. I couldn’t afford expensive things. I don’t have a car. I’m not married. I’m just a nobody so I’ve been told.
Thank you for this post. I read it as one of my sons walked through the house saying, “This is ridiculous,” (I hide food, household items so my younger son & I will have these) This from a person that works, and will not even buy his own deodorant.
You are someone very special to have created a group of children who will have each other in this world. Whether they appreciate each other or you is up to them.
I know that my enabling ways are holding her back, but I can’t live with the alternative of her going back into what she sees as her only option-living on the streets again in an abusive relationship
There are many people who wish they had a cosmetology profession or anything useful to put a roof over their heads and food on the table.
The fact is that most people who speak to their parents this way are in pain themselves . and often, it’s impossible to feel it will ever end or change.
You added to the population and are a success. A car is an asset that goes to zero. People where I live no longer waste their money on cars. It’s a lifestyle choice.
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Please love yourself
I wish there was a support group for parents like us who are struggling with their kids’life decisions. I can relate to the anguish of the parents who have left their comments. It is emotionally draining to deal with what life has handed you. Especially when it comes to your children.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time when they were little. We were a stable, loving family and both kids were well-adjusted and by all accounts, happy.